Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
