she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize