im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
