just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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