I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
