Don't you send me to vm
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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