If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
