You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
