none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
