just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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