I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
