yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
