you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
