Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
