Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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