Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
