Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
