if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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