how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
