So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
