I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
