was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
