but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
