I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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