At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
