i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize