So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
