youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dicks are not precious.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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