Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
