absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she looked like the before picture.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
then he tried to convert me to islam
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
