sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
