garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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