forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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