Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
