Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
