He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
