Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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