so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
