So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
