i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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