Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
