I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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