Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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