So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
