I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
