I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize