You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
