Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dicks are not precious.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
