Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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