You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
