My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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