Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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