Nicole vs. Life
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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