I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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