I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
