Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
