so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
