Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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