i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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