he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
