I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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