Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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