Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
