I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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